Officially Phoebe

On Friday, May 22nd, 2009, Phoebe sat on my lap in front of a New York City judge for the signing of her official re-adoption papers. This is mainly a formality. Phoebe has been officially my daughter for all but 4 months of her life. She became a U.S. citizen when she stepped foot in the country on February 1, 2008. (Her certificate signed by George W. Bush who actually managed to spell his name right :) What this procedure does is give us a U.S. birth certificate with her American name: Phoebe Ellis Horowitz. For a girl with a Vietnamese name and a Hebrew name, this one matters most. It will make her entry into school as seamless as any other kid. She is a real New Yorker now and not just because she likes pickles and Herring and bagels. All four Grandparents and our lawyer, Cliff Greenberg were on hand to share the moment with us, as well as Phoebe's favorite companion, Bunny Rosen. We celebrated with, what else? Bagels after the ceremony.

Mother's Day 2

We spent a lovely Mother's Day at the Birch residence on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. With sweeping views of the Hudson River, Jeff's Mom's place is the perfect compliment to my Mom's view of the East River. How lucky Phoebe is to have both in her visual lexicon. And commuting just across town for Mother's day is a treat anyone who ever had to schelp to Long Island or the surrounding boroughs knows all too well. Just a few of the reasons I felt so very lucky on this Mother's Day. Not only do I have an adorable daughter, a handsome man who gave me the best present of taking Phoebe out all morning and letting me sleep in, but we were able to share this day with two Grandmas. Grammy Eastside and Grandma Westside :) I briefly felt a bit of melancholy with the knowledge that these amazing Grandmas won't last forever. This moment is so precious to me that I want to just drink it in and appreciate every minute that I get to be a Mom with my Mom so close by. Jeff's Mom is a beautiful bonus to all this and we're so happy to have her in our lives. So here's to the Moms and the Grandmas too. The day was ours to celebrate with 3 lovely men who shared it with us; Jeff, Dad and Jonfer. How very fortunate we are.

Little Mad Hatter

It's a fact that has proven itself in a new generation: all Horowitz's look good in hats. It could be a baseball hat, a cap, a cowboy or fedora, but Phoebe sure fits the mold. Like her favorite Grandpa- whom she loving calls "Bob," that girl can rock a hat of any shape size or color. A few items of evidence are submitted here for your viewing pleasure.

Yes! No!

At 19 months, Phoebe has entered the stage where she has eyes beyond her abilities. She can run- pretty fast- especially down our long hallway and in the park. She now can climb unaided onto the couch and the dining room chairs with a "Yes I can!" attitude. She mostly wants to feed herself these days, a messy proposition, but one that fills her with pride when a spoonful of applesauce makes it all the way from the bowl to her mouth. I can see a willful streak coming my way and a glimpse of a terrible two year old who will soon inhabit my apartment. It usually comes with a forceful "NO!" when asked to sit down on that chair she's just climbed, or to drink her milk or water. This little lady does not want to be told what to do and it's always a rude awakening for her when she does not get her way. I'm happy to report that she still says 'please' and 'thank you' in sign-language, when prompted by her annoying mother. She is getting great at giving hugs and kisses and says hello to nearly everyone she passes on the street bringing smiles to doormen and postmen and old ladies alike. Phoebe is full of life with no shortage of passion for the world we encounter everyday. Yes! I adore her and NO! I won't ever stop feeling that way.

One smart cookie

Jeff says, the first few years of your kid's life, you are trying to get them to stand up and speak out- then you spend the rest of their lives trying to get them to sit down and shut up. While, that may be the case, I am completely enjoying these precious days of watching Phoebe learn her words and figure out how they work. She knows how to say "Bubble" and "Bottle" and "Button" and "Fish". Then there's "Elbow", "Apple" and "Elmo". We know she loves to call the ones she loves Daddy- but she also likes to call both Grammy and Grampy "Bob". She now knows the difference between "Hat" and "Hot" (one goes on your head which she will happily show you.) She likes to kick her "Ball" and put on her "Shoes" and "Socks" before doing so. She even still has a fondness for "trumpet"- the one that hangs on our wall was her first official word.

Her vocabulary has been helped by some sign language. She can sign "more" and "all done", "Please and thank you" (which is nice) also "Help" and "ouch" and "Clean up" and "diaper" and "change" too. But my favorite has to be "cookie". She already knows her Grammy's chocolate chip cookies are the best in the world.

It is truly amazing how much she understands and how she can use the words she knows to make herself understood most of the time. Next week, my cutie pie turns 18 months old. At only a year-and-a-half, she already has me fascinated with everything she has to say.

Gotcha Day

In adoption circles, they celebrate the actual day you were united with your child. They call it Gotcha Day. Some people make it a present giving, cake-eating occasion. That's not my plan. This child has enough stuff to keep her going for years. Instead, I want this day, January 8th, to be a day we recognize, and appreciate. One filled with hugs and gratitude for the amazing forces that brought us together.

Can it actually be a year since I first held this child? Last night I looked back at the pictures of the orphanage and the caretakers and my little sleeping bundle who allowed me to change her clothes, put her in the carrier and take her back to the hotel with us. So much of that week was a blur. We had to zoom out of New York in 3 days, fly through Tokyo and then onto Hanoi the next day. On January 8th, we were picked up at the crack of dawn to head to Vinh Phuc province. I was running on fumes and high on adrenaline. I had waited so long to become a mother, to finally hold my child in my arms. And there she was, my delicious Phoebe Ellis, my smiling bundle of love. What a lucky, blessed day January 8th was and will always be.

In the year that has followed, I have seen this baby blossom into an amazing little girl. She is so smart and funny, not to mention beautiful. Her smile has remained her signature. She shares it freely with everyone she meets, brightening up the world around her. She loves to dance, shake her hips and shimmy her shoulders. She says lots of words, and uses sign language for ones she doesn't know yet. She eats all the yummy food we give her and mostly sleeps like a champ, resting her growing body and brain to take on another day. Our first year together has been fun and challenging, but mostly fun and enlightening and interesting and wonderful. Of all the babies in all the world, Phoebe was the one that was supposed to come to me. How very, very lucky I am to have her.

Who's your Daddy?

It is the sad lament of most single mothers that the first word most kids say is "Daddy". In Phoebe's case, she's been saying the sound for "Da" (usually directed at Jeff) since she was five months old. These days, as a very blabby, if incomprehensible, toddler, Phoebe is saying lots of words and is on the verge of making whole sentences. She knows 'flower' and 'ball' and 'trumpet' and 'socks' and 'shoes' and 'hot' and lots of others. Our attempt at teaching her baby sign language has paid off giving her a wider range to her vocabulary. She can sign 'more' and 'all done' and 'please' and 'jump' and 'ouch' amongst others. We're working on more all the time because she gets frustrated when we can't understand what she's trying to tell us. But "Daddy" remains her best word- perfectly annunciated and, as of late, directed as almost anyone she loves. I am definitely Daddy. Jeff is too. But so is my Dad, Grammy, Michael, Antonia, Jordan and Chloe and various others. She will sound out Ma-Ma every now and then, but not in any clear, directed way. So despite the fact that she has no official, legal Daddy at the moment, Phoebe has decided she has lots of them. It is most certainly a term of endearment, if one that makes me laugh. I'm happy if she's happy. I guess that's how parenthood goes.