The Octogenarian Club

Grampy’s 80th birthday celebration was a wonder to behold. Who knew that 80 could be so fabulous? To look around the room, it was hard to imagine that all of my parent’s contemporaries are doing so well. When my Grandparents were this age, they were in steep decline; not nearly as vibrant and sharp as this crowd. Many of the people in the room had been at Bob’s 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th & 70th birthday parties. Micki made sure to make each of these occasions super special parties everyone would remember. My Mom sure knows how to throw a party. It took me to my adulthood to realize that most people could not throw a party for 50 or 100 people together in a blink of an eye. I grew up watching a master entertainer at work. And yes, I too love to host parties and have a given a few good ones in my day. I guess she passed the love of celebration onto me. This one was particularly elegant. 50 people at the Water Club overlooking the East River. Great food and accompaniment on the piano by Joel O, a lawyer who volunteers his skills at our soup kitchen on Monday nights. My brother gave a moving speech about what it was like to have a Dad like ours. I introduced a video we had made that had the room roaring with laughter. My nieces, now 12 and 15 looked beautiful and stylish in black & white. Hard to believe how they’ve grown into such gorgeous young women. It was a wonderful weekend of family and friends. A moment to remember how truly lucky we are to have each other, our health and the promise of more good days to come.

Ready for School!

Can it be that Phoebe is almost ready to go to school? It might only be pre-school and only 4 days a week for 3 hours at a time, but it seems like a big move to me. People will tell you that these early years go fast, but you don't believe them until you see it for yourself. These three years have flown by in a blur of laughter and exhaustion. I am excited for her to become part of the All Souls community. Having worked in the basement almost every Monday night for the past six years, I now get to be a part of the school upstairs. Phoebe has grown much more independent this year, able to be away from me without hardship or drama. The separation process is a delicate one, but I believe we have eased our way into it as well as we possibly could.

When she starts school, I have to start a new process of my own. After 9 years of living the off-peak life in New York city, of writing novels and doing freelance work, of traveling and having time for my girl and my family, I think the time has come to get back into the advertising industry I left after 9/11. I wanted to see if I could make a living as a writer, to see if I could publish my work and build a family at the same time. I many ways, I achieved the goals I set out for myself. I did not become the next big thing in fiction, but I got to create and craft the stories I wanted to tell and I got to experience the life of a writer outside the industry I first joined as an intern high school. Now, with my girl in school, I think it may be time for Mom to get back to work. Money dictates much of this decision, but I also have a part of me that would like to re-engage with the adult world. My industry has changed dramatically since I was in it full-time. It may take me awhile before I find the right gig, but I have decided to start looking and hope the right thing comes my way. It seems that Mommy & Phoebe are both on a path to a new adventure.

Phoebe Turns 3!

August 17, 2010
What a day it was. It had been raining all week, but the morning we woke up, we knew it was going to be a great day for a party. Phoebe spent the morning at her "camp" while Mom & Dad, Grandparents and a cousin, all conspired to make the day filled with fun and love for our fun-loving girl. At noon, her friends started arriving; TiTi and Sammie, Maddo with Gavin and her Mom, Blair, Emily & Sophie, Luca, Julia, Shrey, Maya and all their Moms. Everyone jumped in the pool for splashing and swimming. The pool was warm and the sun was shining. (writing this a week later, we are already having rain and dipping temperatures, it feels like Fall is coming.) Sandwiches and crunchy snacks and juice boxes were served followed by an ice cream cake of chocolate and vanilla, decorated beautifully by Jeff. A good time was had by all and the presents were plentiful (to say the least).
What a lucky 3 year old. You are loved, little one. And the love you give out touches everyone you meet. You are the gift.
Happy Birthday, lovebug.

Dancing in my Underwears!

Oh the excitement of moving from diapers to underwear! Phoebe has spent the last year getting ready for this moment. Around age 2, she began practicing sitting on a pretend potty in the living room. SItting on a stool, pulling down her pants and saying she was getting "busy". Eventually, we moved to a step stool in the bathroom, new potty seat perched ont he toilet, waiting for that perfect tush to descend and do her business. But for months and months, it was just for show. She had the process down, but wasn't ready to go. Then one, day, just like that, Phoebe wanted to wear her "big girl underwears". We still haven't mastered this new phase. There are setbacks when she is tired and wants to wear a diaper and not think about it so much. But we are very close to leaving those baby diapers behind. My big girl is getting bigger by the day. Now that's something to dance about!

First Friends

There is nothing quite so sweet as seeing two little friends hug. Girls are especially fond of each other and when they like each other, it's like a deep love forming. Phoebe has made lots of good friends in these first years of her life. Luckily for us, many of them live in our building and we get to see them all the time. Phoebe has nicknames for some of them; Madeleine is "Maddo", Michaela is "Kai." Luca is the boy next store, literally. They will often run in the hall, kick a ball and talk to one another like an old married couple. Emily is an English girl we met at Kidville. She says things like "Phoebe, my Mommy is coming to collect me." Which always makes me smile. Phoebe is a kind and considerate friend. She helps them up when they fall. She makes sure everyone shares and takes turns. She will even give up her spot on the coveted swings if someone has been waiting too long. I predict, Phoebe will grow to be an excellent friend. And hopefully, her friends will be there for her too.

Away We Go

It had to happen. After two and a half years of spending nearly every day and night with Phoebe, Jeff and I made plans to go away. Our birthdays were coming up and it seemed like a good excuse to book a trip. Jeff has had a time share in Mexico for years and we have never been able to use it. But this year, we would. It seemed to take a mountain of planning for ourselves and for Phoebe, but we pulled it off. Phoebe would stay at home with Siobhan- our lovely babysitter/grad student who has been in our lives since Phoebe was a baby. Our girl would also stay with Grammy & Grampy up the street in her new crib that Grammy Mika bought for just such an occasion. The separation would be hard for both of us, but it had to be done. Six nights in Cancun for Mommy & Daddy. Six nights in New York for Phoebe.

I got a great piece of advice from one Mom I know to call in every morning, rather than at night. The day is fresh and lots of activities to come. It was hard to hear Phoebe sad and missing us, but by all reports, she was doing well and keeping busy. Meanwhile, Mexico was often rainy and I had weak moments of wanted to go home. Luckily, Jeff was patient with me and those moments passed. Rain or sun, it was wonderful to be away with my guy; getting up late, taking walks on the beach, swimming, napping and reconnecting. Sometimes you have to stop to realize how hard you've been running.

We came back to our adorable girl, happy to see us and tell us all about her week. I was worried she might be angry with us for leaving, but she wasn't. All she wants is for us to stay with her "all days." I told her we will take more trips together, and sometimes apart, but we always come back. We survived our first week away and are all better for it. Next time we go to Mexico, she's coming with us.

So Proud

Not long ago, I was making dinner in our little city kitchen. Phoebe was munching on cucumbers and watching me as I organized all the ingredients for Chicken Quesadillas. Avocado, sautéed spinach and mushrooms, chicken and lots of shredded cheese. In no time they were done and we were eating our dinner together talking about our day. Phoebe happily chomped each bite exclaiming "yum" and "delicious". Then she looks at me and says, "Mommy, I am so proud of you to cook this." I just about fell off my chair. Not only was that so sweet, it showed me that this little 2 year old understands that someone has done something for her and to appreciate me for doing it. Is this normal? I have no idea. All I know is that it made this Mommy feel wonderful. My little girl is kind and caring and is finding the words to say these things to me. Wow. I'm so proud that she is mine.